Thursday, 4 December 2008

Monument to Consumerism

You would think being Unemployed I would be spending heaps of time on Net-A-Porter but the thrill kind of fades when you ain't got shit to do. Made even more faded by the reality of spending £357 ($822.12) on a Pair of Marni Platforms when you a) Have No Income Stream and b)There is an Economic Crisis going on, however this morning I am awake early for some reason and felt compelled to trawl the pages of my Favourite site, in the hope of being inspired into either making a dress today or sending more Job applications to the UK, so I can start getting all these clothes at Wholesale.

Seeing I won't be able to afford any of this for a while, instead of picking what I am actually considering purchasing, we can play Internet Dress Ups with a pretend Credit Card. Starting with Shoes, which could be considered as Weapons.

Marni. These things are Truly Fucking Amazing. Platform on Platform, Tonal Detail and a Chunky Leather Weave closure, reminiscent of a YSL Tribute with a little bit more edge.

I thought about posting some other shoes that I like but they all look crap when compared to the Marni's.

Dresses wise everyone is being a tad boring lately, everything is in very safe shades of Investment Black and Grey, with the exception of Pucci, Missoni and Matthew Williamson. Everyone appears also to be 'investing' in staples such as the Roland Mouret Pigalle or a Herve Leger Bandage. Luckily Alexander McQueen has never been one to embrace convention and despite there being a lot of Grey in his recent Pre-Spring Collection, his Striped Column Dress would be somewhere near the top of my list, was I to have upwards of Seven Hundred Pounds worth of disposable income.

Despite slightly muted colour-wise, when compared to their general Colour Palette, this Missoni Boat Neck Mini Dress would be hot with Black Tights and Boots or Strappy Flats in Summer. It would want to be trans-seasonal at £529. I was playing Dress Ups yesterday in Christensen Copenhagen and tried on a Misonni Vest in the most amazing Lemon Yellow and Charcoal, only to find it was on Sale for $1100. We are talking a Vest with no Fastening too.

I have gone a little crazy about Tops lately, it seems the Jeans, Heels and an Amazing Top is just as good for Friday nights as it is for Job Interviews. Again the shelves are stacked with White Black and Grey, luckily Vivienne Westwood's tailoring jazzes up a Bleak White Shirt.

Diane Von Furstenberg is doing some amazing things with Lace.

Also making another comeback for next Fall is Checks and Plaids. D&G recently did some striking red head-to-toe Tartan which has prolonged the Check Shirt overdose seen last winter with Buffalo Plaid. Next season is more Country and Grunge. McQueen again is at the forefront in Pink.

And finally the Bags, we all know how I love my Handbags and this Miu Miu number is recession Simplicity at its best. Gucci actually Pioneered the bent Bamboo handles back in the (1st?) World War, as materials were difficult to come by they needed to improvise, an artesian came up with the idea of Bending the Bamboo using heat and their famous Handle was born.

Despite more and more Clutches being spotted around town I am definitely a Tote girl. What the fuck can you even fit in a clutch? And why spend the same money on an 'It' Clutch that is probably Canary Yellow, that will be out of season by Christmas and in the bin by New Years, when you could spend that money wisely towards a classic Bottega Veneta?

I would also recommend steering clear of Ombre Handbags, Ombre was debuted by Prada two or three Seasons ago using Grey/Black and Peach/Cream Patent Leather. It has since filtered down in more colourful tones to Mohair Mini Dresses by McQueen and Von Furstenberg and is starting to show in Target. As it is in Target I am suggesting along with the Canary Yellow highly impractical Clutch it will soon be dead. So despite Fendi turning it into a Vertical Gradient, it is my opinion that they are a few seasons behind.

And finally, as it is supposed to be Summer it would be wise to invest in some Swimwear. Locally I would be hitting up Zimmermann and if you are super smart like Myself and Pants Free CC you would have already picked up an assortment of Zimmermann bikinis for $50 at their Sale. If not Matthew Williamson is here to help, at a price.

As is Michael Kors, again with the Bamboo, a sure sign of Recession. If this was a few months ago the Links would be 18 Carat Gold, cost 100 Quid more and we would be able to get Finance for them.

And finally Missoni, again for CC, in their classic Weave.

So this may not be all that relevant in this Hemisphere and we may not have the cash to even consider buying one of these items but I do have one cheap tip I would like to share.

STAY AWAY FROM GLADIATOR FLATS. Chanel debuted them three seasons ago now? And they were Knee High and interesting. They are in Target, see above for what happens when things are actually IN Discount Department Stores.

And Thank You as always for giving me a forum to talk utter shit.

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