Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Update your links


New Years Revolutions

I'm not much of a Resolute person, I find things difficult to stick too, mainly because I am a bit of an extremist in the sense that the scales are always tipped completely in one direction, I am rarely balanced, so when I set these unrealistic unattainable goals it's not long before they are broken, usually broken so I can tip the scales the other way and do the polar opposite.

I am a Gemini and whilst I am not terribly superstitious or into Horoscopes I do believe that the whole Twins concept of a Gemini suits my personality to a tee. I find Middle Ground incredibly difficult, I am either on a Courtney Love Style Bender or hitting the Gym and eating nothing but Lentil Soup. I am either Completely (to a fault) in Control or completely Out of It. When I'm not being superly overly organised I am a complete mess. I'm either drinking French Champagne in a beautiful restaurant or Drinking Longnecks in the Gutter. The middle ground of Sportsgirl wearing, Taco Bill eating, $30 Bottle of Wine people has never appealed to me much at all. If you're going to be Budget be as fucking Cheap as you can be and if you're going to be Plush go all out. There is nothing worse in life than being boring.

So making New Years Resolutions + My Personality is setting myself up to fail but I have never really had a crack before so maybe I can pull these off? So in 2009 I am:


After 'Quitting' in May 2007 I am still not quite over Cigarettes, they really must have been the love of my life, certainly the longest relationship I have ever been in and the most money I have ever spent on anything. I love the look of Smoking Cigarettes and will always miss them when I see an Ashtray in a nice Hotel Room but I am better off without them and need to give them the flick for good.


Hayley and I have had AIDS all year long, poor Hayley probably got the worst of it but I had a fair whack of Tonsilitis too, which I hadn't had since I stopped smoking, which Mysteriously returned with the packets of Styvesant Lights. I'm pretty sure if I keep the Smokes and excessive Benders out of my life I will not get sick, so I guess this is also a Resolution to treat my body a little more like a temple than a 24 Hour Pub.


I am a definite eater, I love Food an unhealthy amount. But I am also a wearer and caring about what Clothes drape over your body inevitably leads to concerns over what goes into it and how that measures up to a Size 8. When I was working I wouldn't say I had a strict diet but I was pretty fucking anal about what I would and wouldn't eat, Muesli for Breakfast, Soup for Lunch, Vegies and Protein for Dinner, Minimal Booze. I don't think I ate Salami for a good twelve months which is Bullshit because I fucking Love Salami, plus when you're hungry all the time you get Cranky and depriving yourself of things you love makes you Miserable. Since I got fired I have been on such a fun Food adventure where I have indulged myself in whatever I want and whilst I have put on a little extra because of it I am so much happier not thinking about Calories than I ever could be if I was supper skinny. Getting super Skinny is like a Dog Chasing it's tail, its an unattainable goal to look like a Supermodel and not enjoying your life whilst you've got it is just plain stupid. This year is all about Food and Curves, think Nigella Lawson with better Shoes.


Once you've had Bally you'll never go back. Predictable Yes but also very sensible, crap Trend Shoes fall apart, hurt your feet, last a month and have no resale Value. I would rather have One Pair of something amazing than Ten Pairs of shit and Designer Shoes are surprisingly Comfortable, beautifully made and not all that expensive if you buy at the right time ($310 for Bally Suede Boots!). And there will be colour! I want Shoes in all colours of the Rainbow, no more Boring anything next year. Stay tuned.


Without getting too Emo, Life has thrown me a few curveballs this year. Previous to said Curveballs I have realised what an Uptight Highly Strung Negative Control Freak I can be. However the past few months, when some important things in my life have been out of my control, I have really learnt what is important and what is worth letting go. In 2009 I'm not going to sweat the small stuff or waste time caring about things that have nothing to do with me that I can't control. Most importantly I want to focus on the people and the things that matter and particularly the people and things that care about me. With anything in life, you get out what you put in and I ain't wasting any more time putting in any negativity. Negativity is a massive Sad waste of time for Sad unhappy self important People, from now on things that annoy me will just be laughed at and forgotten about. I'll leave the Hate Crusades to others.

(Look kids it's the PLUR Hippy that kills Ostriches for shoes!)

So Cheers to 2009, I hope I can stick to a few of those Resolutions, the Shoes won't be a problem, but I hope 2009 is a Happy Year for all. Bonne Chance!

Living in the past: Mayorettes do 2008

Farewell 2008! There's just a little bit of time left for us to squeeze in our two cents about the year. A quick Q & A with the Mayorettes.

Favourite bits during 08:

Sophie D: Supper Inn dinners at 3am, all of them. It’s the best way to end a night with friends that are too drunk to navigate the stairs and you get to piss off the Chinese Mafia without getting knifed, good food and good times. In second place would be Getting Fired, I didn’t realise how draining having a job that you’re not into was until I was out of it. And going out like that was pretty funny, it made me realise the world and the wankers in it are not for taking seriously.

Rikki: Well Eurodisney was a total high... I felt like I was 4 years old again for a day... it was just so much fun, I got to wear Minnie ears for a day without judgment and step inside the Disney castle... I mean I had watched Saturday Disney religiously for years as a child and the sight of that castle almost made me pee my pants a little.

Hayley: Time in Vancouver at the start of the year, it was fantastic and that city is always calling me back. Getting a good food an alcohol education while I was there was a plus. Snowboarding with friends in some amazing snow. Sophie D introducing me to Pelligrini's. Chester. Megafun nights out through the year and all fun, new people I've met. Sneaker Freakette. Hayley Mei x Matt Roach collab. Favela Rock's. Mayorettes. Oh, and I can't forget Agwa.

CC: Um...woah, 08 has been a big ol' year for me, given I moved interstate,
started a new job and made an entire new group of friends, it's
really hard. I honestly can't narrow it down. There's been SO many
good times. So many parties and launches and new people around every
corner. I wish I had something funny for this answer but really the
whole year has been one big rad experience. Happy y'all could be a
part of it. NEXT....

Fave buy:

Sophie D: As this is singular I am assuming you only want me to tell you about ONE buy, which with my accumulation of clothing and accessories is a little difficult as we are talking a whole twelve months here. But for my pick it has to be my LV Speedy 30 or my Marc Jacobs Irina, both bags have copped a beating on the floors of Section 8 and they are still the most beautiful, practical bags on the planet. Closely followed by all the drinks I have bought at Section 8, I haven’t had a bad day or night there yet and its been worth every penny to spend drunken times with the people (mostly Mayorettes) that I love! Woo sentimental!

Rikki: Hmmmm that is tough, I need to break this down into sections... fave shoe buy would probably be this awesome pair of Eley Kishimoto wedges that are unimaginably fantastic, clothes wise it would have to be a vintage pink angora Gucci jacket that I bought of this crazy nut case woman at a New York flea market for $50, I also bought this awesome 70's spanish dancer print that I love and will have forever... man really this list could go on forever.

Hayley: I can't choose just one either so here's my list: Blazer Hi metallic grey, MOB x Dunk Hi, Addict trench coat, NBFG Doin' it well tee, iPhone.

CC: Ooh, can't really remember buying too much shit this year (yay to
getting free shit from working at a mag). Let me think...the awesome
giant print me and the old man bought from the Changes exhibition is
up there, my gorgeous new Hello Kitty kubrik, my icecream dress even
though I never wear it. Shit man...what the fuck have I bought??? Man
I suck at these q's! ahem NEXT...

Best track:

Sophie D: All this picking one ‘best’ thing is so final and scary. Santogold’s whole LP really did it for me so I am going to go with Lights Out or Creator. But I am sure I will remember other stuff that came out in January and be like fuck! I can’t believe I forgot that. Stookie is also very much up there but only if Spooney and Hayley are doing the Stookie dance by themselves at a very uncrowded Miss Libertines, if anyone else does it they suck.

Rikki: I think Ladyhawkes "Paris is Burning" really stuck with me for an age... its just so dam catchy and I loved screaming it in Noodles face when we were in Paris in September.

Hayley: Wiley - Wearing My Rolex (for crazy dancefloor times), Santogold - Creator, I know it snuck out in '07 but '08 was the official. Ooh, and I'm digging NERD - Spaz right now.

CC: Okaysss, now I should be able to get some shit out, while I have been
generally disappointed with all music post Cassie - Me and U (music
just has never been that good for the last 2 years, where's my new
party jam, WHERE???) there's gotta be something I've enjoyed. I'm
sick to death of MIA but noone can hate on Paper Planes, that song is
bossssssss. Other than that I've loved loved loved pretty much
anything by Kids in the Hall, Kid Cudi and locally Spit Syndicate. And
hate to say it but my rnb skank side lovessss TI's "You can have
whatever you likkkkkkkkkkke" ooh and Rhyme Fest! Did Blue Collar come
out 08 or 07, regardless, "Brand New" and "More" are the biznuss.

Best Gig:

Sophie D: Roc Raida at Section 8, namely because Boogie Blind named me Credit Card girl and I was so drunk that ALEX of all people thought I was drunk. And I was just generally having the drunkest most fun day ever AND I ended up at Supper Inn at stupid O’Clock, pouring Soy Sauce on the table until I realised I had no money and had to go wake my parents up at 3.30am on a Sunday evening to pay for my cab ride home, after dropping a whole fixed gear on my leg and incurring the biggest bruise I have ever had in my life.

Rikki: Well it would have to be between Bjork and Madonna.... Madonna was just mad.. we were 6 people from the front and well it was fucking MADONNA.. I loved watching that bitch sweat it out. Bjork was a different kind of concert but once again we were right at the front (on the barrier actually) and when she stood in front of me and belted out "all is full of love" actually staring me in the eye, my heart kinda broke... it was just so fricking magic.

Hayley: Definitely Bjork at the Opera House. I'm super stoked that our side of the audience chose to stay seated, I'm lazy and would rather numb bum than sore legs from standing. Foreign Beggars at Laundry, Roc Raida at Section 8.

CC: Ooh, did I even go to gigs, shit man! I gotta agree with Soph, Roc
Raida was pretty fuckin fun and loose man. Aside from the part where
the section hate see-you-next-tuesdays made me wait out the front for
like 40 min for NO FUCKIN REASON while they let in all their friends
right in front of my face, DON'T YOU FUCKERS KNOW WHO I AM???
obviously not. Still pretty cold blooded when everyone can just watch
you like a loser through the fence. Not cool. Um....what was the
question again....oh yeah gig...while the turn out was shite, I REALLY
enjoyed Kid Cudi a month ago. Dude is the future baby. It was enough
for me to forgive his participation in that god awful shitbrick of a
new album of Kanye's.

2008's biggest fail:

Sophie D: Leggings tucked into Gladiator Flats closely followed by these incredibly fucking horrendous little slipper things you buy at Kmart. Ultimate Fail.

Rikki: Not making it to Scandinavia before returning to Oz... Damn it.

Hayley: Grunge rearing its unwashed head.Pneumonia. MySpace.

CC: 1- the new album of Kanyes
2 - Section 8 making me wait like a fool that time. (Hey we give you
enough love on this thing, I think you can handle some hate)
3 - 80% of this shit I attempted to cook this year
4 - Those cons with fake gaffa tape on them

2009 is gonna be:

Sophie D: The happiest silliest craziest year of my life to date. Lookout Europe.

Rikki: Full of big changes... New job, new home, new goals... Its exciting but also fricking scary.

Hayley: Hard work, fun and so much better.

CC: Hopefully even better than 2008! 08 set a pretty high benchmark but I
reckon we can do it. Go team Mayorette!!!! I said brrrrrr it's cold in
here, I think there's some Mayorettes in the atmosphereeee.


Chanel is set to lay off 200 of their Production Staff. And the rest of the Luxury Goods Sector, famous for never going on Sale, are having massive Sales even in Milan. The lady herself, Mademoiselle Gabriel Chanel fired her entire Staff in 1939 when they demanded better Working Conditions and Pay during the World War. She would not give them better wages and closed the Company until the War ended.

This is a pretty concerning revelation as I prepare to Jump a Plane to Europe and try to get a Job with one of these houses and currently are employed by a Luxury Goods Company in the most disposable of positions. We've all seen the images of Major Banks lining up their employees a la Firing Squad as they announce their bankruptcy, closure or mass redundancies, I was confident that the Luxury Goods industry would remain largely untouched as the Upper Echelon of Super Rich are largely unaffected by the Economic Crisis currently unfolding, but it appears to be starting to hit.

It's a Strange one though, I sold one of my Clients $4000 worth of Clothing and Accessories on Sunday and the store did close to $20K in under 6 Hours. It seems the Super Rich will stay rich and continue to support the Luxury Goods industry with their Super Dollars. What Luxury Houses may not have anticipated is the combined force of the Middle Class Consumers, who are being hit hard by the Credit Crunch, who are losing their Finance & Banking Jobs and who in turn are losing their disposable income. They may not be the $4000 In One Go Sales but combined their small purchases would account for a large chunk of business.

I'll let you know if I become unemployed again in the next few months.

Wacky Wednesday


Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Amy Ate Food!

And it wasn't Crack! Hopefully Miss Winehouse keeps eating Food, lays off the Drugs, hangs out with Mark and records another Killer LP. I love you Amy, I will come to the UK and feed you Baby Food if that is what it takes for you to be healthy again.

RIP Old Amy.

All dressed up

I know it's a bit lame that I'm so excited but "I can has iPhone" has been living in a shitty iPod Touch case which was all wrong and gross. Now she's pretty, purple and doubles as a mirror (because I look at myself all day long hahahaha!) It's just begging me to drunk text all of you!

New Lils

At first I was apprehensive of listening to Lily Allen, all I knew about her was that she got her start on MySpace and she hated Amy Winehouse, then Jamie made me listen to the LP and I loved it and played it on repeat for several months.

Then she didn't make any music for a while and she was constantly in the tabloids being drunk and mouthing off about other people, slagging Amy Winehouse and Victoria Beckham and all the easy targets in the UK and not really doing too much else. It was funny for a while but without any music coming out I started to get a bit over her lip, she was bordering on Tara Reid famous for being Trashy and Lippy as opposed to famous for being a Musician, which I thought was shit because she made good music.

But its a Catch 22, if I was in her position (we are the same age) I would probably be doing a lot worse, getting a lot more drunk, doing loads of industry supplied free coke and acting a complete and utter fool. Again the problem with being Famous is that people like me Comment on your life (unjustifiably?) and your behaviour ends up on YouTube. Shouldn't she be allowed to mouth off and be 23 seeing she is a 23 Year Old being supplied every glass of Champagne her heart desires? Its not like she's Amy or Brits just yet and as yet it doesn't look like its going that way.

Anyway her Oh My God Cover on Ronson's Album was brilliant, as was the Clip and her new Single is pretty damn good too. As is her new Blonde hairdo, she looks Gorgeous, maybe this can be my next style?

Scouring Lil's Blog I discovered that she got into a little trouble for covering Womanizer, which Mark Ronson then played on his EVR show, which then got ripped and posted on the net. I haven't gone looking for it but if anyone can be bothered downloading it please email to Otherwise check out the New Clip below and I think she also has a new website somewhere, I'll be hanging for February when the full LP Drops.

Noooooooooooooooo Boi

Flava Flav is coming to Town. NYD at the Espy, you've all heard about it. I have tickets, lots of tickets but they are for other people. I stupidly did not replace the one I bought for myself then gave to a friend and now its all sold out.

I've done this before and No-One has come through for us but I'm trying again.

I need TWO tickets to the NYD Show at the Espy, I am happy to take flicks for any websites, write a review or give up a Kidney.

Next in line is Jessie, she needs three.

And Krakha also needs one.

And Hayls and Mex too. So if someone could kindly organise Eight Tickets for the Mayorettes and associates it would be really lovely (and save us all trying to Bum Rush the Door)

So if anyone can help Jessie gives excellent Blowjobs and I'm sure Krakha does too, you would have to be a girl in Krakha's case though so please keep this in mind. Help us have a Happy New Year!

On the Hair Tip

I take my hat off to Rikki's commit, that is a serious commit that is not to be taken lightly. I had a Fringe cut a few years ago thinking that I would look like some cute grown up Sophisticated little Amelie but I ended up looking like a Hoodrat.

Then I thought maybe it would be better if I did something like this,

Which I would still love to do but its taken me a year and a half to rid myself of my disaster fringe so I am holding onto the length and hoping for the best.

After my last visit to Fur my lovely hairdresser Pheobe suggested I start doing something with the colour, and as my hair is naturally a Brassy Blonde it doesn't take long after colours for the Black to take on a real Reddish tinge in the light. So lately I have only been doing my roots Black to avoid the Centrelink regrowth look and leaving the locks to do what they will. Then I saw the clip to Womanizer and now I want Red Black Hair! Which I was going to do until the Sophie D 30th December Credit Crisis hit. I couldn't find any Screen Grabs of Brit's Red do so you will have to watch the clip.

But even if I don't get the big bucks to sort out my Black Straight Mop before NY I look forward to the other Mayorette Hair Revolutions to come.

Angry Monkey

FUCK 2008. You heard it here first. The immediate reasons for my hatred of 2008 are as follows:

Without going into too much detail I forgot to cancel all the automated Debits from my Account that I had when I was in Full Time employment and as a result a sizeable chunk of my money got taken a few weeks ago. To make matters worse Blue Bar lost my Amex the night before Christmas Eve so I had to cancel it and wait for a replacement at the worst time of the year possible to wait on a replacement, which I still don't have. On top of that I started working on the day everyone at Work got paid, meaning I have had to wait a full two weeks of working almost every day without pay, thankfully tomorrow the coin should come through. But at this stage I am without the funds to get Haircut, buy Supplies and get more Antibiotics on my Day Off.

Randomly on Christmas Eve I woke up at 3am and my throat was the size of a Football, since I have got nothing but worse and have found that I am carrying a lovely Sinus Infection around town that Antibiotics aren't really killing that quickly. To make matters worse I am home alone with nobody to be my sickness slave and make me soup. I have to reheat my own Soup! And get my own DVD's! And take myself to the Doctor on the Train! Travesty I know. I think tonight I might get Indian and try to kill it with a Vindaloo. But upon reflection Vindaloo costs precious money that I probably won't have by 7pm.

Hayls is also suffering a form of Aids, Alex is frying like Bacon in Brisbane, Jess is working 12 Hour Days, Lace is in Adelaide and honorary Mayor Spuddoe Sanchez is on a little Road Trip. All that said I probably shouldn't inflict my Aids on anyone else but I miss my girls (and boy)!

So basically I am hanging for tomorrow night, to ring in the New Year with the people I love the most, in one of my favourite places in Melbourne and look forward to a whole New Year of adventures and travels and whatever else is out there. Happy New Year!

Monday, 29 December 2008

Hola from Vegas!

Hello darlings!
Greetings from Bris Vegas. I'm bloggin from my dad's OG study or should i say "den". Looks like JFKs or some shit, so much army stuff around it's ridics. I want a den damnit. Anyway brissie is going good, spent today hung over by the pool in Paddo with my girl Katie. Got as some serious rays and got to get out the new tanning mats I got from the in-laws for Chrissie also. They know my likes well. I ended up out until 5.30 this morning. This has not happened for quite some time. My sis' bday dinner turned into bday cocktails at brissies "hot" new bar Sky Room. Not too bad really. Drinks are mad expensive but it's always gonna be the case. The mojito was awesome, and they have some drinks in coconuts. The staff were wearing Fred Perry as a uniform which is a blatant bite from Madame Brussels in Melbs but I guess they're hoping noone in Brisbane knows this. We left round 12 and ended up bumping into all of Katies old work mates which led to more drinks and rounds and ciggies at Brisbanes quintessential Valley haunt Rics. It's so funny this place is so popular coz there's nothing to it. Crap tables outside, crap bar selection, sometimes okay music, usually shit staff, but I've spent wayyyy too many nights here back in the day. In first year uni i went there every thursday and Saturday night. Pretty much every dude I ever macked was at this place upstairs drunk off my mind. Infact me and Paul first macked here. And get "walk like an egyptian", ewwwwwwww. Ahhhh memories. We then went back to one of Katies said friends houses which was this gorgeous art deco apartment on the river, for drinks, entourage season five and smoke til his house mate yelled at us, sorry bout that rugga. And we realised the sun was coming up, did the mac drivethru thing, got to bed round 6 and woke up at 11 am in the same bed at 35 degree heat. Rehydration and pool time bitches. I think we both have sun stroke now, but it was worth it. I got some colour.

As you may have noticed, I have no pics as I forgot the chord thing that transfers images, which kinda sucks, I'll just have to do a massive recap post when i get back i guess.

Pictures i do have however...was looking on my dads computer and comparing this years xmas shots to last...and I'm pissed as I have blatantly got way fatter and less hotter than 12 months ago. I blame YOU melbourne! And your constant shit weather that promotes covering of your fat ass body and pasty skin for so long that theres no incentive to look good. Maybe I just was way more tanned last year....but I'm pretty sure I look 5kg fuglier. You be the judge! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Hopefully i'll get so fucked up on New Years I'll lose it all again.

Christmas 2007 (looking aight)

Christmas 2008 (looking shit)

When I get to melbourne I'm going to get into smoking hard core again. Diets and exercise are for suckers, it's all about appetite suppressing. I will also hit the solarium hard once again. My body is my temple clearly.

miss y'all!

Bobby Biatch

A new year is coming so what better time than now to reinvent myself, if only a little and drastically change my do.

My hair has been long blonde with bangs for coming up 5 years now... Before that I used to have short hair, boy short hair like Posh's famous pixie crop but with shit loads more peroxide. I kept trying to grow it but I just couldn't get past that dreaded mid length stage that makes you look like a total dag. So Noodle came up with an ingenious plan, he made me promise that if I had my hair cut within the year that I would be contracted (we wrote it up) to a years worth of blowjobs on demand...what a genius, he knew that there was no way in hell I would let him have that kind of control and so my lusterous locks grew... 5 years on and all of the bleach and constant GHD torture is starting to take its toll so its time to chop it off and start again.

Im going to get a bob.

Im hoping that Im going to end up looking exactly like this...

But knowing my luck I'll end up looking like the very likeable but very fugly woman with the bob in two fat ladies...

Or worse... Herps Hilton (as CC calls her)...

As you can see its a delicate procedure but at 11 O'clock on Wednesday (the last day of the year no less!) I will be getting the snip!!

Eek.. wish me luck.

Bird Day Wishes

It's this special little kid's birthday today.

And this very special big kid's birthday tomorrow.

And despite being without a voice and not terribly well I am going to celebrate with them at the usual Bird hangout later this afternoon as I have two days off in a row!

And then we have New Years People, stay tuned. Particularly stay tuned to see if my sexy phone sex voice holds up any longer or if I have to resort to writing on napkins.

Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Boys.

Monday Music

Dedicated to 2008

Sunday, 28 December 2008

The Winner Is

What are the odds? Katie won the NBFG x Addict Hood. Yay! Now you'll have to let us all borrow it.

Mr Postman

I've been a lucky girl lately...what's better than getting packages in the mail?

Thanks to Sneaker Freaker:

and all the way from Sopho and Josh in Vancouver, a fresh new Sharks + Hammers tee, vinyl goodness, magazines and Fantasy Garden incense mmmmm sexy. I forgot to include the hair-net in the pic hahaha.

Saturday, 27 December 2008

Where I'd rather be

It's nice to be in Melbourne, but Vancouver looks good to me right now.

Missing the place heaps lately. Wahhhhh!


I'm finally back...and I have an internet connection. Hello outside world!

Updates from Hayley Town soon. x

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Joyeux Noël

WOW! What a week. Today is my first day off after working 8 Days Straight and I am totally zonked out. What a way to ease back into Employment, working 9-10 Hour days on my feet all day doing Retail at Christmas. But serious, I am actually really enjoying it and I am glad that the spending a $100 a day on Booze adventure I went on has come to a close.

Despite the Work thing I have been getting out and about, alas still no Camera so there ain't much photographic evidence but Security Cams at Pellegrini's, Blue Bar, Caboose, Kake Di Hati and Thai to Go can vouch for me. Surprisingly enough I haven't hit Section 8 all week! Sadness is upon me.

But when I have escaped the controlled climate and temptation of the Boutique I work in I have added these to my Christmas wish list, most likely to be bought in the Apres Christmas Sales as a present to myself for working 8 Days in a row.

Ralph Lauren Sunglasses

Chloe by Chloe EDP, Chloe Sevigny not Included.

Marc Jacobs Platform Pumps (On Sale at Miss Louise!) Not in this Colour but this Shoe.

And as usual there are a hundred million more things that I want, can't afford and don't have time to buy. I am working Boxing Day and the whole Weekend so hitting the sales is going to have to wait. Monday is my next day off, by which I should have a Camera so stay tuned Boppers! Stay Tuned!

And get really drunk tomorrow and abuse a relative, you know you want to.