Monday, 4 August 2008

Mayoress Guide to Falls Creek

*Disclaimer - Hayley knows more than me about Snowboarding and this is a really long post. I hope someone gives a shit.

1. Bring Supplies, a Carton of Coopers costs upwards of $75.00 and I spent $50 later in the week buying Coffee, Bread, Milk and Eggs. This was the aftermath of the gear unpacking, the trunk was previously full to the top.

2. Try to avoid making friends with (just) 18yr old Gromit boarders, particularly when they are full of UDL's and looking for female companionship. This lovely chap had stopped us as we got through the resort to ask us if we could put his chains on for him and couldn't understand why we didn't want to help him and his car full of drunk mates at Midnight in the freezing snow. Once they caught up to us at the Oversnow they proceeded to hit on Me and Sha and tell Jmery and Triddy that they get all the Ladies.

3. Don't worry about anything when you wake up to this in the morning, worry about the fresh powder that you are about to get stuck in.

4. - Bring PJ's and Ugg Boots, whilst they may be unflattering on Britney Spears you are lost without them in the snow.

5. Rug Up - There are no Sizes in the Snow, they only come in Chunky and Androgynous, so enjoy the opportunity to eat what you want, not suck in your stomach and wear hideous goggles. This also has the added benefit of making you warm which will enhance your Snowboarding activities substancially. A cold boarder is a miserable boarder.

6. Eat well, you are on Holidays and Food is even more soothing after a day of ass bruises, snowballs and ice down your pants. Hayley's Asparagus always goes down a treat with a bevy of hungry boys.

7. Have a drink, I shouldn't have to even tell you that.

8. Play in the snow but leave you wallet inside. Dive bombing from a tree into fresh powder is a quick way to lose your wallet, just ask Sprinkles.

9. Go to the pub, you might find Snow Twins or AFP Tags on the Condom Machine.

10. Walk home with your boyfriend drunk in the snow, it gives you that lovin feeling.

11. Get up and Board the next day. Hangovers are no excuse, the fresh air and exercise will make you feel like a winner!

12. If you think you've hurt yourself you probably have, visit the Medical Centre for an (expensive) opinion to ensure you haven't broken any bones. Ice the wound with Snowbag technology.

13. Play Nintendo Wii, it goes well with beer and is a great night in after a giant hot meal. Especially fun played with Garnes.

14. Take in the Scenery, you really are somewhere special and amazing, enjoy it.

15. Realise that falling over is just another photo opportunity.

16. Get back up and keep at it! If I can snowboard anyone can.

17. Cheap Jug Nights are everywhere, make sure you navigate as boys have trouble.

18. And again don't let a hangover keep you down. No excuses, play like a champion.

19. Pub lunches are good for the soul. Stella at lunch is ridiculously delicious and makes everyone look like Austrian Snow Models.

20. Go Toboggoning, its fun

21. Get the Helicopter across to Mt Hotham, it is a really amazing flight and your lift tickets are interchangeable between the mountains. It's a tougher Mountain but it has a nice pub and the Summit is excellent for practicing turns. Their Terrain Parks are also crazy.

22. Get a rad apartment to house everyone, if you do it right it works out cheaper than the nicest hotels on the mountain.

23. Be Sexy, Snowboarding is no reason to abandon your looks

24. Backflip a Bus and Steal a Green Whistle

25. Protect your Sneakers

26. Eat a Mex Hot at The Man Hotel

or get a *name escapes me* with Bacon, Sausage, Chips, Gravy, BBQ Sauce, Ham, Chicken and any other Meat you can find. Ask Garnes about it, he commited.

26. Play Circle of Death

27. Get a group shot, taking stacks of cheesy photos on Holidays sometimes feels rank at the time but you thank yourself later when you have all these flicks to remember all the fun you had.

28. Next time make sure you come with us and stay tuned for the Mayoress guide to driving home - Wineries, Cheese Factories and Beef Cheek for Lunch. Yum.

1 comment:

Hayley said...

I hate you all. Don't worry I'm just jealous, it's still love.

18 year old grom snowboarders are fucktards, well a lot of snowboarders are morons (not ALL of them! Just the MFM wannabees! It just so happens that a lot of kids want to be MFM hahaha).

Anyway, snowboarding with friends is the best ever, wish I was there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe Japan 09/10? Who's up?