HELP A BITCH OUT....

This is me, but instead of an obscene ammounts of puppies sucking at my teets I have BILLS! Bills and no money for anything.
In an attempt to make ends meet, I now have some shit up there on ebay. Please peruse my wares here
Lots of things for the fellas, so buy it for yoselves or yo man (if your a girl). All goin cheap cheap, like a budgie. Lots of tees and some shoes, and some sabre sunnies and more shit will be uploaded once I go through my closet some more.
Only a fool would pay retail! buy now!
Note to hayles: I will not use mayoress to pimp my own shit ever again, desperate times ok!

Xmas is comingggg....

I thought I wasn't gonna be into xmas this year coz the 'man' is trying to bum us all out with his talk of recession and bullshit but fuck it, bring it on! I can't wait!!! Gettin my ass back to Queensland, seeing the fam and eating my weight and then some in cold cuts while I drink copious amounts of alcohol with my similarly alcohol dependant family in the humid summer Brisbane air and partying with my friends I haven't seen in a year. I can't wait! I've never gone "home" for the holidays before coz i've always been there, so this will be cool.
I wanna have a mayoress xmas party, if they had Hooters here in Australia we should totally would totally have it there. I was looking up xmas vids and found this one of these girls from hooters doing (or in the blondes case, trying to do) the mean girls jingle bell rock dance. Hahaha so good. I love the voice of the girl filming, clearly another Hooters girl. Hahah she sounds EXACTLY how I imagined a hooters girl would sound like. God love em! I reckon those orange shorts with the hooters top uniforms are hella hot though. haha.

Celebrating Spooney

Saturday night, we drank in honour of Spooney! I also had a little bit to drink, after being sick for so long. How was this for starters?










Sanch takes on the girls




New fun toys get a work out




CC gets casual with style



See more here.

GET UR FINE ASSES TO DIS SHIT!

HEY! I must be a glutton for punishment coz I'm posting another rapper post, say what you want but Kid Cudi is DOPE and my peeps are putting on a gig here next thursday at Roxanne. Will be lots and lots of fun. Leave the Champion hoodies and beef at home and embrace the new face of hip hop you 1990's bastards! haha. Just kidding.


I really like this song, check youtube for lots more from this dude. and hope to see ya there!

Orphan

Oooooh! Hayley Mei interview in the new issue of Orphan.

(I can hear the sound of tooting my own horn) Beep beep!



Hahaha!

Webnology

I like how no one uses Pens and Paper anymore (except Spooney) and if they do they feel the need to scan it and post it on the Internet (Me!) but this is Next Level and by far the funniest thing I have seen in a really long time.

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account


Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.



Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Too Funny

Saw this on The Vine and thought it was too hilarious not to share.



Which reminded me of the Similar one that was done not too long ago for the Melbourne City DRINK Card Stack, both pictured below, which are also too funny.



Even better than this is Bec's recent Tick a Box Style, interpreted below on a Caboose Receipt holder, I can't vouch for the accuracy or success rates of any of these techniques but any Mayorettes out there willing to give it a go, take some flicks and send us stories. Guys too!



Happy Dating

Paper Planes

Spooney is better than Paper Planes. Give him a Shopping List, Cheap Nail Scissors and a Pencil and this is what happens. Amazing





Don't know how my camera ended up on Black and White but Strorbz had something to do with it.

Not Bad Not Bad Not Bad

Just a heads up everyone, Not Bad For A Girl have opened a sale stash section online. Anything you might have missed from previous drops can be found there. But in very limited quantities. Be quick!

I hate gay head band things...

and if there was ever a catalyst to stop wearing that fourteen year old, first time i've ever been to a festival, tryhard indie kid shit it's this pic right here. Trust Paris to be like 3 years behind the curve. To make it even better, she was wearing this shit to that Ed Hardy creator guys (Audlinger or some shit) well his skank girlfriends 16th birthday. Errrgh gross. What a big ball or wrongness. So boho! Oh and if some little bitch says "you racked that pic from dlisted or something" yeah, no shit bitch! Sorry but I don't get jpegs of celebrities emailed direct to me from the paps the night after the party. Sorry, I'm working on it.

Lupe!

Where did this tour come from? Lupe Fiasco's gonna be in town Jan 27th, bring that shit on. Lupe is rad! In the words of I Miss Cigarettes, he is a wonderful chocolate man. haha. Who's in? I hate hipsters but I love hipster rap, though i hate it being called that.

Claw Honey

Its starting to get Pre Christmas Sale time, which is exciting if you liked the Claw x Boosted Mobile stuff as it is 50% Off! Clawmoney.com for the goods.

For the boyeeeeeez - AF1 x Krink

AF1's usually make me wanna barf, but these are an exception.



Reflective uppers (not for raving, thank you very much).

Miss Louise Sale

Lucky I have no job. 9am here I come.

It's Official!

The rumours are true, the MAC x Hello Kitty collabo is on like Donkey Kong and it will be available online in Feb and on our shores in March. Please MAC, please....if you have a heart...send me some of this shit. Noone will like it more than me. The Fafi one sold out crazy fast and the colours were fug, we'll see how we go with this one.

Also check out the cute Hello Kitty float in the Macy's Day parade recently! Yay I wanna ride it and wave to everyone! I've always wanted to got to that parade, I was actually in New York in 2003 for it but was to hung over to go, I think I just went to an indian restaurant and got yelled at for not tippin correctly. Tipping sux man! Thats one real shitty part about the states.

Global Gathering

So I woke up on Saturday to the sound of Hail, in the middle of November, and realised that I had paid $100 to see Mark Ronson at an outdoor Music Festival that was now going to resemble Glastonbury. I instantly regretted not finding Gucci Rainboots all those months ago.



To cheer me up Tobey took me to his favourite Breakfast haunt, which will remain nameless to protect the innocent, but it was damn good (Shit Bloody Mary though!). Pesto, Boconcini, Chorizo and Roast Pepper Scrambled Eggs.



From there I met up with Jamie who was to be my partner in crime for the day. We could barely move at the Music Bowl, people everywhere.




The one highlight of festivals in Melbourne is the 'fashions', I use the term very loosely as whilst I am a big believer in Fashion knows no Pain there are some things you just don't wear to a Festival, particularly when its raining like:


Skirts on Boys


Men in Sailors Outfits


Mini Skirts and Gumboots


Singlets and Boardies. Come on it was fucking NINE Degrees.


White High Heel Boots


Too Many Pills



Too Much Hair Dye


And Pokemon Mullets


All that said Jamie and I made the most of a terrible day and actually managed to have some serious fun.


Strorbz and Trent managed to jump the fence undetected so they partied for a little bit too. In the rain. Drinking $11 Smirnoffs.


Then we bounced to Favela, where I am quite happy to say I have no photos of and do not wish to ever see any photos of that Favela. Drinking all day and night isn't the most attractive viewing ever.


Sunday morning only Death Benedict and Bloody Mary's at Yellow Bird could save me.


This little Birdy went flying by.


Which of course attracted other little birds


Which because they are the birds that they are turned into this

My two Bloody Mary's saw the death of me and I flew home.
Monday was D-Day which we already covered.


Yesterday was Spooney's 30th, what better a place to run into him on a seriously beautiful Melbourne Day than Section 8.



And try to eradicate the effects of Monday by jumping back on the bus, Garnish competition, winner still undecided.


Sitting lounging in the Sun on the Astroturf and who should walk in?


Jamie!


Who decided I was actually a Mo Sister


And managed to Relocate Jessie's amazing Stickers.


All in all not a bad few days, seen lots of Friends, free from a job I didn't really like, Sun is starting to shine that little bit warmer and life ain't all that bad.